My Silence About Baseball Player Who

Opinion

I was 22 years old and working as a sports reporter when I was raped by a major-league baseball player while on assignment in the Dominican Republic. I kept it a secret from my best friend, my sister, my mother, and my sports editor, all of whom were female. For 18 years, I kept it a secret from everyone. I didn’t say it out loud to myself, I didn’t write it down, I didn’t utter his name, and I didn’t allow myself to think about it beyond wishing desperately that it hadn’t occurred. I wished for it to never happen for years.

When I learned that the general manager of the New York Mets, Jared Porter, was dismissed for exchanging sexually explicit messages and images to a female reporter in 2016, my world was turned upside down.

As a result, I was relieved to discover that I had not welcomed it, that I had done nothing wrong, something I had never even considered.

I have chosen not to name him because doing so would expose me to the prospect of having dirt thrown on my reputation; even now, more than a decade later, and in the aftermath of the #MeToo movement, a former professional player still has significant power in the sports world.

  1. More women will feel more comfortable speaking up when something is improper, I hope, as a result of me sharing my own experiences.
  2. So here’s my tale, the one that I’ve been keeping quiet for so many years now: I had just graduated from Notre Dame and was working for The Fort Worth Star-Telegram, where I was mostly covering high school sports, but was constantly seeking for new chances.
  3. It was over two decades ago, but I still remember how much effort went into it, how well it was received, and how pleased I was of myself for having done it.
  4. I sat down in a hotel room with my interview topic for a few minutes to talk.
  5. Then he rushed quickly to kiss me on the lips.
  6. I made an attempt to shove him.
  7. He pushed me even farther, climbing on top of me, removing my skirt, and engaging in sexual relations with me without my will.

And again and again, I replied “no.” I couldn’t move because I was too afraid.

Because it was the middle of summer in Texas.

Instead, I puked all over the floor and carpet.

I was 22 years old and had no previous baseball experience, and at the time — over two decades ago — the vast majority of baseball fans would have rallied to support the athlete.

It’s possible that I was too pleasant, too trusting, too friendly, and too open.

I lived in constant terror that the narrative would be revealed.

An All-Star player looked at me and spoke my name, as well as the name of his teammate, the man who had raped me, over and over again.

I was humiliated and ashamed of myself.

In the years that followed, I was required to travel to the city where he played for games on sometimes.

That was an offer that I couldn’t even contemplate at this point.

I had no idea how many other players were aware of what had transpired.

I avoided applying for employment in the places where he played for teams that I didn’t know about.

I didn’t start dating seriously until more than four years later because I didn’t feel comfortable with intimacy.

It was simple to explain away my decision to others and to myself at the time.

I redoubled my efforts in my professional life.

When I sensed fear, I forced myself to push through it.

The minor, regular assaults came and went with little fanfare.

There was the coach who was a reliable source for me and who affectionately referred to me as “Legs.” Since there were no panty lines visible under my jeans, players speculated that I was either wearing thong underwear below my pants, or that I wasn’t wearing any underwear at all.

I was surprised to hear this speculation.

There was the road series, during which players sat in the clubhouse and watched porn on a giant television, even while the clubhouse was open to reporters.

That was the only time I ever spoke out, and I’d want to express my gratitude to the general manager, who moved swiftly after learning of the situation.

Throughout the world of baseball, there are a plethora of male sports writers, players, agents, executives, clubhouse workers, and other personnel who I like and respect.

Despite this, the great majority of them were completely unaware of what is still a big source of anxiety for many female journalists.

Her narrative began in the same way as mine.

Even while her tale did not finish in the same manner as mine, I couldn’t help but wonder how many more female sports writers must be subjected to this kind of treatment until the call for change becomes more than an occasional eruption of fury.

It’s a narrative about power in our culture and how males use it to oppress and oppress other women.

There are, without a doubt, ladies in your life who fall into this category.

Why are we discussing this now?

For several weeks, I sobbed intermittently throughout the day.

I’ve had to stop running in the midst of a run because I’m hyperventilating because memories are flooding back to my mind.

Initially, the first two guys I told (both of whom are close to me) vowed that they believed me, admitted that what had happened was horrible and not my fault, and then said, “But you really couldn’t get away from it?” They might just as well have stabbed me in the back with a knife.

A professional athlete who was 70 to 80 pounds heavier than I was?

I wish things had improved substantially in the previous decade, but the instances of harassment and maltreatment that have surfaced recently indicate that this has not been the case.

But I’ve discovered my own voice.

I refrained from applying for employment that would put me in the public glare for fear that it would lead to the publication of my narrative.

I enjoy athletics and was previously successful in my previous profession.

I don’t want this attack to be the first thing that comes to mind when people think of me.

Being a rape victim is simply a small portion of my life’s narrative.

Over the course of my life, I’ve gone to more than 30 countries on my own, lived abroad, trained to scuba dive in St.

I haven’t lost all hope, though.

The act of talking about it is terrible, but the act of not talking about it is just as traumatic, if not more so.

So I’ll leave you with my narrative and the understanding that my truth from all those years ago has not altered in any way, but has finally made its way into the light. I hope you like it.

Opinion

During the 2002 Major League Baseball season, I worked on a huge story on foreign-born players and their experiences adjusting to life in the United States. It was over two decades ago, yet I still remember how much effort went into it, how much attention it garnered, and how pleased I was of myself at the time. In retrospect, I’m not sure how I managed to get everything done. I sat down in a hotel room with my interview topic for a few minutes to talk. We talked for a few minutes, during which I asked him several questions and he responded.

  • But, despite my protestations to the contrary, he forced me over to the bed and sat down next me.
  • I repeated the words no, stop, no, stop over and over.
  • While it was taking place, I couldn’t comprehend that it was taking place to my face.
  • After that, I remember getting into my vehicle, shivering, and driving home, where I noticed my blue-and-white Express skirt and wondered, “Why did I have to be wearing a skirt?” Because it was the middle of summer in Texas.
  • Instead, I puked all over the floor and carpet.
  • I was 22 years old and had no previous baseball experience, and at the time — over two decades ago — the vast majority of baseball fans would have rallied to support the athlete.
  • It’s possible that I was too pleasant, too trusting, too friendly, and too open.
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I lived in constant terror that the narrative would be revealed.

An All-Star player looked at me and spoke my name, as well as the name of his teammate, the man who had raped me, over and over again.

I was humiliated and ashamed of myself.

In the years that followed, I was required to travel to the city where he played for games on sometimes.

That was an offer that I couldn’t even contemplate at this point.

Opinion

During the 2002 Major League Baseball season, I worked on a ground-breaking piece on foreign-born players and their experiences adjusting to life in the United States. Although it was over two decades ago, I recall the amount of effort that went into it, the high level of drama that ensued, and how pleased I was of myself. Looking back, I’m baffled as to how I was able to pull it all off. I sat in a hotel room with the topic of my interview, who was also there. We had a brief conversation during which I asked him some questions and he responded.

  1. I told him no, no, no, I don’t want that, but he forced me into the bed anyhow.
  2. I yelled no, wait, no, wait, no, wait, again and over, over and over.
  3. I couldn’t comprehend that it was happening to me because I couldn’t absorb what was going on.
  4. I couldn’t move because I was too afraid.
  5. Because it was the middle of summer in Texas.
  6. Instead, I strewn it all over the floor with my feet.
  7. I was 22 years old and had no previous experience, and at the time — about two decades ago — the majority of baseball fans gathered to support an athlete.

I must have appeared to be extremely kind, very trusting, very friendly, and quite open to others.

I lived in constant terror that the narrative would be revealed.

An All-Star player stood there staring at me and mentioning my name as well as the name of his teammate who had assaulted me.

I was humiliated and ashamed of myself.

In subsequent years, I was required to travel to the city where he used to play for games on sometimes.

It was an offer that I was unable to even contemplate at the time.

r/longisland – I Am Breaking My Silence About the Baseball Player Who Raped Me (Newsday reporter)

Written by Kat O’Brien Kat O’Brien is a former journalist and baseball writer who worked for publications such as The Fort Worth Star-Telegram and Newsday in Fort Worth, Texas. While I was raped by a Major League Baseball player when I was 22 years old and working as a sports reporter, I was shocked. I kept it a secret from my best friend, my sister, my mother, and my sports editor, all of whom were female. For 18 years, I kept it a secret from everyone. I didn’t say it out loud to myself, I didn’t write it down, I didn’t utter his name, and I didn’t allow myself to think about it beyond wishing desperately that it hadn’t occurred.

  • My magical thought eventually became my reality.
  • In spite of the fact that I hadn’t worked as a sports writer in 11 years, reading reports of other women’s experiences with sexual harassment let the full weight of my own attack strike me.
  • Despite the fact that I had been subjected to the most severe kind of assault, a more subtle but no less uncomfortable strain of harassment continues to plague female journalists working in sports locker rooms, as well as women who work in other environments dominated by men.
  • I hope to be able to contribute to structural change rather than seeking justice for a single heinous crime that is unlikely to be brought about.

And I hope that more individuals working in these areas will make a difference, whether in huge ways, such as becoming an executive empowered to recruit more inclusively, or in tiny ones, such as speaking out when someone makes a joke about a woman sleeping her way into a position or a story, as I have.

Journalist Breaks Silence About Player Who Raped Her

(Newser) – The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) is recommending that farmers plant more crops. Kat O’Brien, a former baseball writer, has said that she has decided to break her silence regarding an incident that has loomed over her life for the past eighteen years. The rape of O’Brien, who was 22 at the time, was carried out by a Major League Baseball player with whom she was interviewing at the time. “After the man forced himself on me in a hotel room, I went home and consumed a bottle of red wine to attempt to dull my “sadness and wrath,” she claims.

According to her article in the New York Times, “I didn’t tell anyone, including my best friend, sister, mother, or my sports editor, who happened to be a woman.” “I didn’t tell anyone about it for 18 years.” Despite her efforts, she claims she couldn’t stop thinking about the assault, except to wish it had never happened.

The author notes that even in the aftermath of the #MeToo movement, “a former professional athlete carries significant authority.” Former baseball writer for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram and Newsday, O’Brien claims she felt embarrassed after the incident when leers and words from another player led her to assume that the rapist had boasted about having sexual relations with her.

She says she decided to break her silence after 18 years of “shame and self-blame” after hearing earlier this year that Mets GM Jared Porter had been fired for sending explicit images to a female sports reporter.

“I enjoy athletics and was previously successful in my previous profession.

As a result, when bright women wonder whether it is worthwhile to work in a sector that is plagued by sexual harassment, the sports business suffers “She expresses herself via writing. To read the entire piece, please click here. (See more stories about Major League Baseball.)

Opinion

When I was raped by a Major League Baseball player, I was 22 years old and working as a sports activities writer for a major newspaper. I didn’t tell anyone, even my best friend, my sister, my mother, or my sports editor, who happened to be a women. I didn’t tell anyone about my situation for 18 years. I didn’t say it out loud to myself, I didn’t write it down, I didn’t tell him his name, and I didn’t allow myself to think about it past the point of hoping that it couldn’t have happened. I wished it hadn’t happened for years and years.

  • All of that changed in January, when I learned that the New York Mets’ general manager, Jared Porter, had been sacked for sending sexually explicit messages and photographs to a female reporter back in 2016.
  • As a result of this came the realization that I had not welcomed it, that I had not done anything wrong in any way, something I had never even considered before to.
  • I have chosen not to identify him because doing so would just expose me to the possibility of having dirt thrown on my reputation; even now, many years later, and in the aftermath of the #MeToo movement, a former professional athlete retains significant power.
  • I hope that by sharing my personal experiences, other females would feel comfortable speaking out when they see something that is improper.
  • So, here’s my story, the one that I kept hidden for a few years because it was too painful to tell: I was a year out of Notre Dame and working for The Fort Worth Star-Telegram, where I was mostly covering highschool sports activities, but I was always on the hunt for opportunities to do more.
  • But even though it was over twenty years ago, I still remember how much effort went into it, how well-regarded the play became, and just how pleased I was with the result.
  • I sat down in a lodge room with my interview subject and prepared myself.
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Then he moved forward and kissed me on the lips.

I made an unsuccessful attempt to shove him.

He pushed me even farther, climbing on top of me, removing my skirt, and engaging in sexual relations with me without my will, which I found offensive.

I said no again and over again.

After that, I recall getting into my vehicle, shivering, and driving home in my blue-and-white Express skirt, wondering why I was required to be wearing a skirt in the first place.

I recall consuming a bottle of crimson wine as soon as I returned to my apartment, in an attempt to numb my disappointment and wrath by consuming alcohol.

I was quite aware that if I told anyone about what had happened, it may jeopardize my professional future.

As a result, I held myself responsible.

Despite the fact that I explicitly stated no, there must have been a miscommunication.

I was again at the ballpark in Arlington, this time in the clubhouse of the visiting team, not long after the attack had occurred.

Suddenly, I realized that he had to have informed people since he was portraying himself as a stud and me as a girl who was there to pick up ball players rather than complete my job.

It was the participant who had assaulted me who did not say anything further to me after that.

At one point, a sports activities editor in his city got in touch with me to see if I’d be interested in covering for him and his team.

For more than six years after that, while covering Major League Baseball for The Fort Worth Star-Telegram and subsequently for Newsday, I ran across the All-Star teammate who had leered at me in a number of clubhouses.

While I was still working in baseball, that teammate continued to gaze at me and make me feel uneasy for the rest of my career.

The rape followed me to my place of employment, and for the rest of my life, I avoided anything that would bring back unpleasant memories.

People were kept at a safe distance.

I was on the road for half of the year and worked at night and on weekends.

I used to be elevated to the position of lead Rangers beat writer.

However, there have been times when I felt frightened when leaving the ballpark at night because of the empty stadium concourses and dark parking lots around me.

Then there was the occasion when one other sports activities reporter informed me that he had heard a fake story that I had purchased my position as a Rangers mascot because I had slept with one of the team’s administration.

There have been reports of people — mostly male sportswriters — making assumptions about whether or not a female reporter had slept with a certain player just because she was nice or if she had been in a pub frequented by players.

There was the road series, where players hung around in the clubhouse and watched porn on a large television, even while the clubhouse was open to media.

Fortunately, it was the one and only time I raised my voice, and I am grateful to the last supervisor, who moved swiftly after learning of the situation.

In the realm of baseball, there are countless male sports writers, players, brokers, executives, and clubhouse personnel that I like and respect on a personal level.

Nonetheless, the vast majority of them were blissfully unaware of what is still a major source of anxiety for many female journalists today.

Her narrative began in the same way as mine.

Although her tale did not conclude in the same way as mine, I was left wondering how many more female sports activities journalists would have to experience a situation like this before the call for change becomes more than an occasional eruption of shock and outrage?

It’s a story about the power that guys possess in our society, and how they use that power against women.

There are, without a doubt, females in your life who are among those who fall into this category.

Why are we talking about this now?

I used to cry on and off throughout the day for several weeks.

My running has been cut short because I hyperventilate when memories flood back into my mind while I’m out for a run.

The first two men I told (both of whom are people I know) first vowed that they believed me, then agreed that what had happened was horrible and not my fault, and then asked, “But you really couldn’t get away?” within the next second.

Because of my shame and self-blame, I haven’t told anyone for 18 years, and now you’re asking me if I couldn’t have gotten away with it?

Finally, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to speak this loudly, and I added my voice to a motion that is seeking all of the voices it is likely to receive in response.

Previously, I was concerned about losing my work as a sports activities journalist, but that worry was unfounded.

Just as important, I’ve discovered that a trauma that had been lingering inside me for 18 years at times has weighted me down and limited my ability to make judgments in my personal and professional life.

As I type this, my fingers are trembling a little bit.

And the sports activities industry suffers as a result of professional girls questioning whether or not it is worthwhile to participate in an industry that is fraught with sexual harassment.

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I’m not looking for sympathy.

There are numerous things that are more interesting about me, such as my love for Spain, the fact that I’ve run six marathons and qualified for Boston since having a stroke, the fact that I’ve worked for a number of of the most well-known and revered corporations on the planet, and the fact that I volunteer with the International Rescue Committee.

  • Lucia, kite surf in Spain and Brazil, and be one of the only females in a number of locales.
  • I will never longer let a violent act committed by a person to define my life or define my destiny.
  • In the end, I’ll leave you with my narrative and the conviction that my reality from all these years ago has not fundamentally changed, but has at long last come into the light of day.
  • Her educational background includes degrees from both the University of Notre Dame and the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania.
  • The Times is committed to publishing a diverse range of letters to the editor in its publications.

We’d want to hear your thoughts on this, or any of our stories, so please share them with us. Here are a few suggestions. And here’s what we’ve sent via electronic mail: Follow The New York Times Opinion section on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter (@NYTopinion), and Instagram.

I Am Breaking My Silence About the Baseball Player Who Raped Me

During the 2002 Major League Baseball season, I worked on a huge story on foreign-born players and their experiences adjusting to life in the United States. It was over two decades ago, yet I still remember how much effort went into it, how much attention it garnered, and how pleased I was of myself at the time. In retrospect, I’m not sure how I managed to get everything done. I sat down in a hotel room with my interview topic for a few minutes to talk. We talked for a few minutes, during which I asked him several questions and he responded.

  • But, despite my protestations to the contrary, he forced me over to the bed and sat down next me.
  • I repeated the words no, stop, no, stop over and over.
  • I couldn’t comprehend that it was happening to me because I couldn’t absorb what was going on.
  • After that, I remember getting into my vehicle, shivering, and driving home, where I noticed my blue-and-white Express skirt and wondered, “Why did I have to be wearing a skirt?” Because it was the middle of summer in Texas.
  • Instead, I puked all over the floor and carpet.

Kat O’Brien breaks her silence on being raped by a player

Kat O’Brien worked as a sportswriter for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram for several years, covering the Texas Rangers. She moved on to cover baseball for the New York Newsday before deciding to leave sports reporting altogether. When she was 22 years old and a year after graduating from Notre Dame, she was raped by an MLB player while she was interviewing him for a piece, which was published today in the New York Times. Because she feared losing her job, she chose not to inform anybody about what had transpired.

  • In the aftermath of the Jared Porter revelations and the subsequent termination this winter, the anguish and trauma have been brought up once more.
  • I’d encourage you to read the entire piece, but I’d want to highlight a section at the conclusion where she discusses why she took the decision to go public with her story: Why are we discussing this now?
  • For several weeks, I sobbed intermittently throughout the day.
  • I’ve had to stop running in the midst of a run because I’m hyperventilating because memories are flooding back to my mind.
  • Initially, the first two guys I told (both of whom are close to me) vowed that they believed me, admitted that what had happened was horrible and not my fault, and then said, “But you really couldn’t get away from it?” They might just as well have stabbed me in the back with a knife.
  • A professional athlete who was 70 to 80 pounds heavier than I was?
  • I wish things had improved substantially in the previous decade, but the instances of harassment and maltreatment that have surfaced recently indicate that this has not been the case.

What I had dreaded losing in the past — my career as a sports journalist — is no longer a concern. But I’ve discovered my own voice.

Former NY sportswriter Kat O’Brien reveals she was raped by MLB player in 2002

According to an intense and dramatic article written by a former New York journalist, she was sexually assaulted by a Major League Baseball player in a hotel room 18 years ago. After interviewing the unidentified player for a piece about foreign-born athletes adjusting to American society, Kat O’Brien, then 22 years old, wrote in a first-person column published Sunday in the New York Times that he “advanced suddenly to kiss me.” The former Newsday reporter was working for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram in Texas at the time and recalls being pulled over to the bed.

Then she remembered, “I attempted to shove him.” “I kept saying no, no, no, stop, over and over again,” says the author.

“ After that, I remember getting into my vehicle, shivering, and driving home, where I noticed my blue-and-white Express skirt and wondered, “Why did I have to be wearing a skirt?” Because it was summertime in Texas,” O’Brien explained.

But I ended up vomiting on the floor, which was a mess.

“As a result, I held myself responsible,” she wrote.

MLB Photographs courtesy of Getty Images Afterward, O’Brien stated she never spoke to her rapist again, and she would not identify him if asked now.

She expressed gratitude for the opportunity to speak out.

“As I read tales of other women’s experiences with sexual harassment, the full impact of my own attack hit me,” she wrote.

According to the former reporter, she avoided applying for employment in places where her rapist was a member of teams that participated in those games after what happened in that hotel room.

Formerly of the Star-Telegram and Newsday, O’Brien earned degrees from the University of Notre Dame and the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business.

Kat O’Brien was compelled to share her tale after learning that former New York Mets general manager Jared Porter had been sacked for sexual harassment allegations.

Players advised she wear thongs or nothing at all beneath her pants “since they couldn’t see my panty lines,” she said, adding that a coach once dubbed her “Legs.” A blow-up doll was stored in the team manager’s office, and players would use it to act out sexually graphic situations, according to O’Brien, who worked for a team that wasn’t affiliated with the Rangers or Yankees.

According to O’Brien, “I hope that by sharing my experiences, other women will feel comfortable speaking up when they see anything that is improper.” “What I dreaded losing in the past — my career as a sports journalist — is no longer a concern,” she said. “However, I have discovered my own voice.”

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